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Tips for men struggling with divorce

When a woman goes through the end of a marriage, she often has a wide range of resources from which to draw. Not only do women tend to form more close interpersonal connections with friends and family, but our culture supports the notion that women are "talkers" while men are more action oriented. In reality, both men and women can have difficulty when it comes to moving past a divorce. Understanding how to cope with these difficulties is important for men in Texas and elsewhere.

One of the biggest mistakes that men make during and after a divorce is to enter into a cycle of "what-if" thinking. It is easy to wonder how things might have worked out differently, but the reality of the situation is that the marriage ended. Being able to move beyond this type of speculation is important, especially in the midst of a divorce when a great many important legal and financial decisions require one's full attention.

Another common error lies in feeling guilty about the end of the marriage. Unless one's direct decisions and actions led to the divorce, there is simply no benefit to taking on the burden of guilt for a relationship that did not survive. There are innumerable things that contribute to the end of a marriage, and it is impossible to pin down the specific issues that cause a union to falter. Even worse, strong feelings of guilt can lead one to walk away with an unfair division of assets or child custody rights, which is an outcome that can have long lasting repercussions.

When moving through a divorce, Texas men must make every effort to keep their mind on their present needs, and avoid becoming distracted by the events of the past. This is a time of intensity, on both emotional and legal levels. Becoming distracted by how things might have been different, or by feeling guilty about the end of the marriage can lead to a negative divorce outcome. While it may require a degree of effort and discipline, remaining focused on the present and hopeful about the future can make this period in one's life far easier to manage.

Source: The Huffington Post, "7 Ways Men Say They Bounced Back From Divorce", Brittany Wong, June 25, 2015

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